- Every story has two sides. And more often than not, one of those sides is horribly obese and yells a lot.
- Whatever you say can, and will, be used against you by your mother-in-law.
- If someone is bothering you, just move your chair a little bit away from them. Problem solved.
- BOO EVERYTHING.
- No matter how many pounds you gain, how many teeth you lose, how uneducated you are or how shamefully atrocious your general hygiene is – there is a man out there who will hump you.
- You need a job. (This is maybe more for me rather than you.)
- Sometimes it only takes five words to change your life:
S.
Another lesson: You do not currently, nor will you ever, know me. It is best to inform people of this while they’re booing.
YES. Maury has also taught me that it is possible to be “5000%” sure of something.