Today I said “obvs” to the Vice-President of Finance.
Today … this afternoon … I said “obvs” to the fucking Vice-President of Finance.
This was followed by some deep and dark self-reflection. Have I really sent that many texts? IM’ed with just a tad too much passion? Has my basic ability to form small, simple words in the context of a term so common even toddlers can understand and use it perfectly gone out the window, along with my ability to actually use my cell phone to call people?? I think it has. But what can I do? If I start talking in big words I would just be seen as loquacious albeit condescendingly sarcastic with a touch of good humour (aka a total douche). Yet if I continue on this path I’ll be saying LOL NM JK to my boss at my next review and before you know it I’m texting everybody from my imaginary cell phone because I can’t afford a real phone because I live in a refrigerator box BECAUSE I’M BROKE AND HOMELESS … unless you count that refrigerator box as my home, in which case I just live in a really shitty house and have no money … which still sucks anyhow.
Fuck it. I’m going to start being one of those people who correct grammar on Facebook. THEY HAVE FUCKING SPELL CHECK. I feel it is my duty to society, and also to my own integrity, to point out those opinionated assholes who can’t even distinguish between “they are” and “those people’s property (whether it be a name or whatever the fuck)” despite the fact we all learned it back when Pogs were selling like crack on the playground.
10 points for the most expletive-filled paragraph ever written on PGPT, and 10 points for trailing off and having no real conclusion to this post.