You broke my heart, Dane Cook
We had such good times, you and I. We watched that tire murder Mary, we met Hank and his poncho in the BK drive-thru and we danced the night away in a circle around our purses and pocketbooks, making the occasional pit stop in the woofer.
What happened to you? I could forgive “Employee of the Month.” It was your first time, and as well all know, first times are usually painfully awkward, or for some of us, painful AND awkward. But then you just kept on going with “Dan in Real Life” and “My Best Friend’s Girl.” I don’t even want to mention “Good Luck Chuck” (after all, nobody else did, and the only reason I remember it now is the one copy that is gathering dust on the shelf of Blockbuster along with “Bring It On VVXIII” and Paris Hilton’s “Dorm Daze.”)
I can only surmise that Hollywood has sucked all that was good and pure out of you … but I can’t put all the blame on your leading ladies. Maybe you just said all you had to say. Either way – you’ve been replaced.
These days I am opting for a deliciously real and funny homegrown talent who hasn’t yet been totally exploited. Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce Jon Lajoie.
Although his comedy isn’t so much stand up as it is musical (like Adam Sandler in his glory days, before Spanglish and Punch Drunk Love), Lajoie still manages to make me laugh at all the things I’m already thinking.
“Everyday Normal Guy” is somebody we’ve all dated, known or ARE.
“High as Fuck” is right on target, crackers and all.
“Show Me Your Genitals” and “Rapist Glasses” – honourable mention.
So, take some time and get to know my new main man. That being said, I’ll never put my “Harmful If Swallowed” CD away.