Happy New Year.
I’d like to add another resolution to your 2013 self-improvement plan. Ready for it? No more slut-shaming!
Some of you may read this and automatically think: “But wait…. why? Sluts are bad, aren’t they? And shameful! SHAME THEM! SLUTS!!!” And if you did, sit the entire fuck down and let’s have a chat about that. For those of you who thought: “Oh, I don’t slut-shame. I just think it’s REALLY bad when girls, like, just have all this sex with dudes that aren’t even their boyfriends, y’know?” You also need to sit down, right beside that other asshole.
Just to make it clear: slut-shaming is the act of making someone – usually a woman – feel guilty and/or inferior for engaging in sexual behaviour that violates traditional gender expectations. For women, that usually means those who became sexually active at an early age, those who have had multiple partners and those who engage in casual sex. Okay?
Besides the fact that judging other people instead of worrying about yourself makes you a useless asshole who contributes literally nothing to society, here are the two main reasons why slut-shaming is bad:
- It populates victim blaming, which is one of the stupidest fucking concepts that has ever plagued us humans. Victim blaming is exactly what it sounds like: blaming the victim of sexual abuse instead of THE PERSON WHO SEXUALLY ABUSED THEM. It means accusing them of doing something, saying something or wearing something that somehow invited their attacker to come abuse them, thus making it their fault. Let’s make it as clear as possible here: not wearing a short skirt and not having that sixth shot of tequila is not what needs to happen for a woman to avoid being raped. What needs to happen for a woman to avoid being raped is for MEN TO STOP RAPING WOMEN.
- It prevents unity between women, which makes us weaker in a society that is out to divide and conquer. We are constantly being conditioned to fear and judge the sexuality of other women which achieves two very detrimental things: it makes us jealous and competitive towards our fellow women and fuels our own personal insecurity, making us far more susceptible to this type of shit and therefore easier to control.
And just because I want to make it as EASY AS POSSIBLE for you to be a better fucking human being this year, here are some fun and easy ways for you to stop slut-shaming in 2013:
- Do you personally know the woman you’re calling a slut? Is she putting herself in danger? Do you think she may possibly need help? Maybe try talking to her about it. Y’know… like a friend, instead of a passive-aggressive asshole.
- Do you NOT personally know the woman you’re calling a slut? Maybe try shutting up. Everyone has a story. You don’t know hers. She doesn’t know yours. Respect that fact. Go read a book instead.
- Think about your own relationship with sex and intimacy. What does slut-shaming reflect about your own insecurities, your own self-worth, your own experience? Make a pie chart. Followed by a real pie, as a reward for analyzing yourself instead of others.
- Stop using the word slut. Reconsider how you let society effortlessly control you through language. Focus on words that are fucking awesome like “ominous” or “crescendo” or “fuck” instead of words that reinforce this toxic, subtle and stubborn attack against an entire gender.
My friends. I hope you will join us in this crusade and I would love to hear your thoughts.
Here’s to a 2013 free of slut-shame.