Happy Canadian Thanksgiving.
That’s right Americans, you’re not the only ones. We get a day off work to celebrate the colonial conquering of land belonging to the indigenous First Nations’ population too. SAY SOMETHING.
Well, sort of. There’s a lot of debate on what Canadian Thanksgiving was originally created to celebrate. Apparently, Lower Canada and Upper Canada used to observe it on different dates to celebrate different things. Even after Canada became one big ole nation, Thanksgiving was celebrated on different dates for different reasons. And then in 1957, the government was all like HEAR YE, MOTHERFUCKERS. Let’s just do this thing on the second Monday of every October, okay?! Okay. And here we are.
Now that I’ve blessed you with that infallible history lesson, here’s a list of things I’m thankful for today:
- Summer being over. The heat is nice, but that humidity can get the entire fuck outta my face. Do you know what it’s like to wake up with a sweat mustache? Because I do.
- The first frantic, feverish, unforgettable stages of infatuation.
- Literally everything that is going on in this music video.
- Air travel. We can fly through the sky, you guys. And a lot of people died trying to make that happen for us. Give thanks.
- Frank Ocean.
- Taking off your bra at the end of the day. Or basically whenever.
- The faces people make when they play instruments.
- Letting go of someone you’ve been holding on to for way too long. (WARNING: RANT COMING. INSTRUCTIONS: DEAL WITH IT.) You cannot change people into who you think they should be. Even if you’re trying to help them turn into a version of themselves you believe they deserve and have the ability to become, that is not your call to make nor your evolution to inspire. Especially not at the cost of your own emotional well being. In the words of one of my wisest friends, you are not virgin soil for their training wheels. And in the words of ME, do not sacrifice your emotional intelligence and waste it on someone who simply needs to develop their own.
- Going pee, when you really need to pee.
- Radiolab podcasts.
- Whiskey. Except for when it makes me emotional.
- The smell of an old book.
- Wrapping your hands around a warm drink on a cold day. And by drink I mean dick. JUST KIDDING. Not kidding though, those things are always warm.
- Going HAM in a fantasy sports league of any type when you have a vagina. I know that both K. and I have experience with this and let me tell you… there is no sweeter satisfaction.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an important date with my 4th bottle of beer and this pot of miso mushroom gravy. What are you thankful for, bruh?